


Its not my fault (you left)

by Prince_August



Series: Based on a Conan Gray song [1]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, Angst without a happy ending, Based on a Conan Gray Song, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Fluff, Self-Harm, The Cut that Always Bleeds
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-29
Updated: 2021-01-29
Packaged: 2021-03-15 21:48:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29071299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Prince_August/pseuds/Prince_August
Summary: Kara keeps leaving Lena...OR..No matter how many times Kara leaves Lena takes her back because she always comes backAfter Lena's adoptive mothers abuse and abandonment she cant take anymore. She doesn't know if she will wake up if Kara leaves again.
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Series: Based on a Conan Gray song [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2134977
Kudos: 38





	Its not my fault (you left)

**Author's Note:**

> !!!!TW!!!! SH mentioned

“Kara?” Lena asks when she opens the door to their shared apartment. This is the longest they have been together. Four months. Seems short doesn't it well for lena its the longest anyone has stayed. The picture kara usually kept of them on her bedside table is gone. So is her duffel bag. Along with most of her clothes.  _ Again _ . Kara had left again. But lena doesn't notice that kara is gone until she walks to the dining room table. She looks down to see a note and picks it up with shaky hands as tears fill her eyes.    
  


_ Dear, Lena _

_ I don't really know what to write. _

_ Hell I don't really know what to say except that I'm sorry. _

_ I can't do this anymore.  _

_ I need to think about us and what that means. _

_ I don't know if I'll be back.  _

_ / Kara / _

“Fuck” is all lena says before she drops to the floor against the wall. Her phone falls next to her and her bag discarded right as she walked in now laying on its side. She cant stop. She can't stop the tears that fall from her eyes and stream down her face. She can't stop the scream that  rips from her throat and she can't stop what happens next. She wills herself to stand and she rests her hands on the counter. She knocks a glass sitting there onto the floor and it shatters. She picks up a shard muttering to herself “worthless” “she left you because you’re worthless” “that's what mother always said” Lena can hear her mothers words ring through her head. 

_ “WORTHLESS LITTLE BRAT.” Lillian says as she slaps Lena across the face. “Your father never loved you” SLAP “Your whore of a mother never loved you” SLAP “No one will ever love you” SLAP Lena falls to the floor and she can taste blood. Lillian’s wedding ring broke the skin on Lena’s lip. “And do you want to know why?!” Lena looks up at Lillian with tears streaming down her face and a bloody lip. “Because” Lillian takes a step towards her. “You” step “are” step “Worthless” Lillian was inches away from lenas face at this point.  _

“Worthless” lena mutters to herself. “Im worthless” she picks up a shard of glass and reminds herself the only way she knows how “worthless” she mutters with the first letter “worthless” she says a little louder halfway done with the word now “she left me again because i'm worthless.” she screams sobbing the word now carved into her across her arm. She lays on the floor crying for hours until her phone rings. She looks at it with tired eyes and sees the caller ID 

**_Sam Arias_ **

Lena picks up and says softly “Hello?” 

“Hey lee are you ok you haven't answered any of my texts?”

“No.”

“What? What do you mean.” 

“She left me again”

“......... Oh honey….. Here I'll be right there ok?........ Love?........ Answer me lee”

“Ok”

Fifteen minutes pass and Sam is at the door. She doesn't knock; she just walks in and turns to see Lena sitting on the floor. Tears stained cheeks and bloody hands. Lena passed out from pure exhaustion. “Shit” Sam says, pulling out her phone. “Lee what has she done to you?” She pulls out her phone and calls her girlfriend. 

“Al?” 

“Yeah?” 

“I need your help”

“Yeah no sure babe...where are you right now” 

“Um..” 

“Sam? Babe?” 

“ Yeah no sorry I’m at lenas right now… oh and bring the first aid kit and hurry”

“Ok I’m on my way love you”

“Love you too” Sam looks back down at Lena and tries to wake her up. “Lee...Lee...wake up.” Sam turns to look at her wrists to see  _ worthless  _ carved into her skin. “Oh lee.” At the sudden pain Lena wakes up and sees Sam crying. She’s confused about why Sam is there and when they’re on the floor until it hits her and tears start streaming down her face. “She left me Sam.” She starts sobbing into Sam’s shoulder “she left me cause I’m worthless” Sam’s heart breaks at her words “oh lee no… you aren’t worthless. You mean so so much to me.” She hears Alex knock. “Babe just come in” she called out. Lena looks up at Sam. “Invited Alex….. oh Sam no she’ll judge me.

Alex walks in and takes in the sight of the apartment. Broken glass scattered across the floor. Most of Kara’s things gone. And her girlfriend and her now best friend (she had grown to love Lena and they were now very good friends) huddled on the floor. Lena sobbing softly into Sam’s shoulder. And she is very confused until she sees blood on both their hands. “HOLY SHIT lee are you ok??” She says running to them. 

Lena is still very much clinging to Sam and muttering “worthless…. worthless…. Fucking worthless…. she left because I’m worthless.” Alex whispers to Lena very gently while Sam tries to calm her down. “Hey it going to be ok…. let me see your arm”. Alex takes her arm and cleans up the cut. She wraps up her arm to stop the bleeding. 

She is eventually able to pull Sam away from Lena. “Sam what happened?”

“Kara left again and Lena’s hurting” Sam says glancing back at Lena. “ We need to get her to sleep,” she continues. “Sam I don’t think she’ll be able to sleep in this apartment.” Alex says moving towards the closet. She grabs the first bag she can find and starts packing Lenas clothes. “Sam?” She calls out. “Yeah?” Sam had spent the time Alex spent packing to get Lena up. And change her clothes into something more comfortable. “You take her to our apartment and I’ll stay here to clean up” Sam nods while taking the duffel bag out of Alex’s hands. “ and what are we going to do about Kara?” Sam looks around the apartment then at her broken friend. 

“That’s a problem for another day. Let’s just get her home” Sam takes Lena to her and Alex’s apartment and Alex stays to clean up the blood and glass. 

* * *

A week later

Lena is sitting at home when she hears a knock on the door. “Hello? Who is it?” she calls out as she stands up and walks to the door. The cut on her arm now hidden by her gray NCU crewneck. The cut hasn't healed enough to scar but it’s no longer bleeding. Sam had been checking in to make sure she was ok so it wasn't weird that someone was here. But when Lena opened the door she was not ready for what she saw. She opened the door to meet the blue eyes she loves so much. “Hey” kara says sheepishly. Lena throws herself into Kara's arm. “I thought you left” The rest of the day is spent in each other's arms. Lena wakes up at 1 am to a realisation. “I can't do this anymore” she packed her things called a cab and for her first time in her life she left. As she was in the cab she got a call.

**_Baby <3_ **

She lets it go to voicemail. Once. Twice. By the third call she picks up. “Hello?” Lena asks softly. “Hey babe where'd you go?” Kara asks, sleepy. “I can't do this anymore” 

“What? What do you mean baby?” 

“Because its the same every time. I don't love you anymore A pretty line that I adore, Five words that I've heard before, Cause you keep me on a rope And tied a noose around my throat You're gone, then back at my door if you're gonna leave you Better leave, better do it fast cant live a little longer Sitting on your lap 'Cause you know what you're doing When you're coming back and I don't want to have another heart attack.” She says with tears falling softly down her face. “Oh, I can't be your lover on a leash every other week when you please. I can't be the kiss that you don't need the lie between your teeth, the cut that always bleeds.” the driver has pulled to a stop. “Where are you babe?” Kara asks a little more angrily “it doesn't matter. I'm done. For once I'm leaving before you can”. Lena steps out of the cab. “Lena what are you doing?!” 

“No. Im done. It's not my fault-” Kara interrupts her “No Lee just come back and we can talk about this-.” 

“No”

“No?!”

“No it's not my fault you left.”


End file.
